Feelings

Maturity begins to grow when you sense your concern for others outweigh your concerns for yourself.
John MacNoughton

Celebrating our ability to feel is a way to be fully free.

Who am I? I sometimes question. I get a little disoriented in life occasionally and in search for answers I stop by for some peace of mind here, in this prayer room. This is where I find so much comfort. Here I can be myself and express without restrains the feelings stored within.(Ok, I look too goofy here. Thanks to Emz the photographer.heh.Do not be deceived with my look though. There is always a deep wound hidden in a smile.)

( My hiding sanctuary for private conversions with God and Mother Mary)

I had a small talk with a friend today. I told her I was bombarded with some questions of faith from an atheist friend of mine. To my complete horror, he knew more of the bible than myself. All of a sudden, shame overwhelmed me. For someone who loves God so much, I could not even defend His honour, or fight till my last breath. I thought to myself, my purpose was not to win any arguments. To me, we were in the middle of a discussion. Yet, I was saddened with the fact that he no longer went to church and stop believing in God. There was a time when he helped out a lot in church and he even introduced to me the book "Left Behind". I felt he was drawn to God then, despite being an atheist. Somehow it all changed. In conclusion, he did not find for what he sought for. In a desperate attempt to convince him, I tried to reason. It all failed. In that way, I felt I had failed Him. I watched in despair, as he made his choice. He told me to read the bible instead, that I'd find truth there why he turned against God. How ironic, is it not? Here, I began acknowledging my powerlessness. I grabbed my bible that day and vowed to read bit by bit everyday. I felt sad that he never knew the love that God was capable of giving and how unconditional that love is.

I must make amends. I hope the realization did not come too late. I still hope he would trully believe some day. Life can be so lonely without anyone to turn to.

It is not the desert island nor the stony wilderness that cuts you from the people you love. It is the wilderness in the mind, the desert wastes in the heart through which one wanders lost and a stranger. When one is stranger to oneself then one is estranged from others too.
Anne Morrow Lindberg

Anyway, I saw that guy again. ( You know, the one in my previous post?) Yeah, and I know where exactly he work as and as what, lol. No no, don't get me wrong, I was not stalking him. It was just that I happened to bump into him there and then. At a closer look, his sharp features made him fierce. Yeah... really... 'siong'. (laughs)
I wish I can write more about him but I don't know him. He's like a complete stranger who captures the eye with just a glance. Lame isn't it, just because he stands out in the crowd.

Oh and I am absolutely in love with this furniture I saw at Green Gallery. Please please don't askme the price. I could just die in disappointment. I have a thing for furnitures. I am soooo into interior designing but am so pathetically broke to afford anything. :( A simple home can be transformed into a classy , assemble of art given the right set (a bit too dark, but do blame it on my L6 haha)

of furnitures, matching wallpapers, flooring etc.

God, please please rain on me some wealth, if not for me at least for my family. lol. There I go again wishing for something I don't deserve haha.

Tonight, I will look into the Old Testament, the book of Genesis, beginning with the creation of the universe and human beings.
Genesis means "origin". While this book tells stories about people, it is the first and foremost an account of what God has done. It begins with the affirmation that God created the universe and it ends with a promise that God will continue to show his concern for his people. Throughout the book, the main character is God, who judges and punishes those who do wrong, leads and helps his people, and shapes their history. This ancient book was written to record the story of a people's faith and help keep that faith alive.

Genesis is divided into two parts:

Chapter 1-11: The creation of the world and the early history of the human race. Here are the accounts of Adam and Eve, Cain and Abel, Noah and the flood,and the Tower of Babylon.

Chapter 12-50: The history of the early ancestors of the Israelites. The first is Abraham, who was noted for his faith and his obedience to God. Then follow the stories of his son Isaac, the grandson Jacob(also called Israel) and of Jacob's twelve sons, the founder of the twelve tribes of Israel. Special attention is given to one of the sons, Joseph, and the events that brought Jacob and his other sons with their families to live in Egypt.

Although my atheist friend asked me to read Deutronomy first, I decided to get back to basics, lol.

There's something romantic about driving in the rain during sunset. My L6 was not in its prime in capturing but at least this picture was better than nothing:)

(wah, so blurrr,lol)

The test of courage comes when we are in the minority
Ralph W. Sackman

If only my thoughts come in clearly...

I feel like taking another holiday again. Hence I allow myself some time to reflect in the rain.lol.
Life is too short to let it pass by. We can never be too sure how many miracles we've missed along the way.

I wish I knew what God has in store for me. I have concerns that I am trying my best to deal with, willing myself to be persevering in the face of any storms.

I do not want to be swept away into delirium or lose myself in the freedom I have sometimes once in a while. I want to make good use of my time. I just don't know how.

There's always something magical about the life we're living in. We take things for granted too easily that we forgot how significant it is to carry ourselves in the lives we are bestowed. Seems only like yesterday I was a child with no worries in the world. Today, I am a grown woman with (oh why oh why must I mention,lol) childlike behaviour. Seriously. Perhaps it's hard to let go of the past. I look at my parents. They have aged, and they are all I have. My siblings have also grown up, including my youngest in her sweet sixteen and we're all a set of different generations.
I hope I am doing what's right. I may not be successful now being so unsure of the future but I hope things will change in the coming days.We have the power to make or break.

Until then I will dream of the September rain , revelling in it, if only it will make me wiser.

It is the heart that makes a man rich. He is rich according to what he is, not according to what he has.

Henry Ward Beecher

Merdeka over, year end approaching!

I've recovered from my Merdeka mood, hence here I am to fill in the missing days in action slots :P Happy Merdeka Malaysia! Independence sure came a long way. No doubt political unrest seems to invade national news recently, but let's not be too judgemental and keep our fingers crossed for a better Malaysia. Whichever party promises and keeps to their word, reigns.

So this year's Merdeka, I was away from home. Not far, though. (Laughs) But will blog about it soon as I am not ready with pictures. Paiseh ya :P


I also paid a visit to Jaze's Tea Room located at Premier 101 Mall, Jln Tun Jugah for some light refreshment in the evening to chat with one of my besties.



So I stole this pic from somewhere heh.


Anyway, walking up the first floor, we loved the theme of the place. It was more of Italian Renaissance with roman chairs and plush sofas. Very classy. Needless to say, we knew the ambiance was a price to pay for.


Okay, these two pictures are from my trusty L6 :)



My only regret was I did not take photos of what we had there. Bummer!
My drink of the day was classic chocolate, with a scoop of chocolate ice cream, costing RM8.80 while my friend had hazelnut chocolate, of 20 cents difference. We slurped our drink delightfully to the music of MTV playing in the background. No one could actually resist the exquisite taste of temptuous chocolate. Mmmmm.. As a light snack, we savoured on steamed siew mai (they have fried option) as claimed from 'Open Air Market' and left with rm4.80 poorer from our pockets but fuller in the tummy,lol.

Still, we love the place and it was not too pricey comparatively. We could come on special occasions only, no harm:P

On another separate note, while waiting for my middle sister to finish work at Saberkas outer lane carpark, (she works as a hairstylist) I spotted a tall prominent figure at the entrance. Instantly the words, tall, dark, _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ came across my mind, except it was more likely to be fair than dark, lol.

What caught me most was not his height, but rather his sharp accentuated features. Very Daniel Henney, though not that identical. I could not help but stare. (subtly of course) There was a girl beside him who seemed to be his colleague, eagerly talking to him as he listened in attention. His girlfriend maybe? But body language stated it otherwise as he was standing quite a distance, but at least maintaining casual contact.

I noted other girls looking his way too. Either oblivious to the attention, or feigning ignorance, I could not tell. I was induced to roll my eyes but berated myself for my improper behaviour in stereotyping a stranger.

I waited for my sister instead, patiently.6 pm. They were still chattering animatedly. The more I looked at him, the more pleasant his countenance became. His smile more likely. I assumed him to be younger than I was. I admired his sense of dressing and admittingly admirable looks.


As clear water runs deep, do not be deceived by outer appearances.


Sorry to not have any pictures of Mr Mysterious, not that I did not want to capture a shot or two with my L6. It would be plainly translated as violating his privacy. I could even end up in jail, trust me.kakaka. So I'll play it safe, play my cards right. lol


The closest I can get is this pic, perhaps with less sharper features:P except that time he was wearing formal working clothes:)

"Come on la. Kuching where got good looking guys," some of my friends complained. I was like LOL, well, kinda true,not that I am pretty myself:P So I told them we have a shortage of Mr Nice. Seriously. Don't deem me shallow for statements I make at times, or for my blatant honesty. I don't bloody care if you do anyway, lol. :P I am here to write my thoughts and not to please anyone hahaha.

Bear with me, if you can. I dare you!

Done!

Mission accomplished.lol. Bridesmaid gown kao tim sai! So my M.I.A is cancelled (for the moment:P)

Gab bought her hair extensions today, more like a few strands of hair to diversify her hair style.:D
They are bright pink btw:P to complement her feisty red short spike.
So much for fashion statements.

Due to her heroic kitty rescue, she decided to be utterly generous and gave away two of her strands to ME. laughs. She even offered to don them on my ori hair and guess what? I ended up looking like a pathetic Avril Lavigne. Except she's blonde and my crown of glory is 'rusty orangey' So as the fake Avril Lavigne let me belt this song to you., a.k.a Girlfriend.

Hey hey you you,

I got myself extensions,

no way, no way,

two streaks of pink hair,

hey hey you you,

I wear them after work. (lol)


Hey hey you you,

I don't wanna be Avril,

no way no way,

but it's kinda cool though,

hey hey you you,

I have so much fun,

being a fake punk.


Ok the next part is dedicated to my ex idol LOL.


You're so fine,

make you mine,

but you're famous,

bye, bye, bye,

flying kisses,

make you disappear,

from my life,

just because,

you're a movie star.


Back to earth,

down to earth,

can't you be that?

What a pity,

I'm so silly,

to be thinking,

you're the kind of guy,

that makes me feel so right (feel so right)


*Everyone claims they love you,

I know so much better,

your looks are all they're after yeah,

Will they take you as who you are?*( no way, no way....)


Hey hey you you,

I know you don't know me,

no way no way,

just another of your fan,

hey hey you you,

I'm too old already,

for this kind of crushes.

on you...... hahahah.


Anyway I bet his Miss Right must be gorgeous, sexy and you name it, all that's sugar and spice.lol.

I used to say how I wish to be in her shoes, in this pic, where this lady, Uhm Jung Hwa, is his love interest in the story "Seducing Mr Perfect" Well not any more apparently. :) Dream on Taff.

Speaking of crushes, lol,when I was back in my hey days in Unimas I used to like this actor from a korean drama series too. I'd put his picture in my purse and my friends( tsk tsk) even mistook him as my tunang(kononnya lol). Wanna see? (Sia soi nia) Unleashing my dark secret from the past, presenting...........(it's a bit blur, been in the cupboard for ages, collecting dust.)

Okay, so he's fairer than me. Doesn't mean he's a sissy lol:DD










But the best person to love is......... of course, (winning hands down)
God. We need not fear rejection from Him. He gives none.:)

Love feels no burden, thinks nothing of trouble,
attempts what is above its strength, pleads no excuse of impossibility;
for it thinks all things lawful for itself, and all things possible.
It is therefore able to undertake all things, and warrants them to take effect,
where he who does not love, would faint and lie down.

THOMAS A KEMPIS

Going M.I.A ..for a good cause lol

Until The Perfect Bridesmaid gown is found, expect a slowdown of blogging activity from the to-be-bridesmaid herself. lol. Being a bad multi-tasker, her disappearance is estimated to be
from up to a few days to a week. The art of focusing remains a discipline:)

Do not dwell on the past.
See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; you do not perceive it?
I am making a way in the desert
and streams in the wasteland

Isaiah 43:18-19 NLT

In short, I want a perfect wedding for both of my friends. For now, let's get busy with invitations. Here's a chapel I won't mind getting married in. It's located in Nusa Dua, Bali:P

I am getting goosebumps already, haha.

Recognise this next place? I was thinking why not have a wedding here? I mean
mine that is lol.

In the excitement of being a bridesmaid, I hope one day I will be able to walk down the same aisle too, and with the person whom I trully love and he who trully loves me as well.

Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

I Corinthians 13:7-8

What's in a name?:P

Just read Tess's blog who found out the meaning behind her name. So I tried mine as well, just for the fun of it.:) Interesting facts indeed.

Feel free to attempt this too and get to know thyself. The results are quite accurate, surprisingly.


What's your name's hidden meaning?

What Taffy Jong Pei Li Means

You are a seeker. You often find yourself restless - and you have a lot of questions about life. You tend to travel often, to fairly random locations. You're most comfortable when you're far away from home. You are quite passionate and easily tempted. Your impulses sometimes get you into trouble. You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection. You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive. You have the classic "Type A" personality. You are loving, compassionate, and ruled by your feelings. You are able to be a foundation for other people... but you still know how to have fun. Sometimes your emotions weigh you down, but you generally feel free from them. You are a free spirit, and you resent anyone who tries to fence you in. You are unpredictable, adventurous, and always a little surprising. You may miss out by not settling down, but you're too busy having fun to care. You are influential and persuasive. You tend to have a lot of power over people. Generally, you use your powers for good. You excel at solving other people's problems. Occasionally, you do get a little selfish and persuade people to do things that are only in your interest. You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something. You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense. You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun. You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing. You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long. You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start. You are the total package - suave, sexy, smart, and strong. You have the whole world under your spell, and you can influence almost everyone you know. You don't always resist your urges to crush the weak. Just remember, they don't have as much going for them as you do. You are very open. You communicate well, and you connect with other people easily. You are a naturally creative person. Ideas just flow from your mind. A true chameleon, you are many things at different points in your life. You are very adaptable. You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone. You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together. At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together. You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out. Success comes rather easily for you... especially in business and academia. Some people find you to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You're a strong person. You are relaxed, chill, and very likely to go with the flow. You are light hearted and accepting. You don't get worked up easily. Well adjusted and incredibly happy, many people wonder what your secret to life is. You are fair, honest, and logical. You are a natural leader, and people respect you. You never give up, and you will succeed... even if it takes you a hundred tries. You are rational enough to see every part of a problem. You are great at giving other people advice. You are well rounded, with a complete perspective on life. You are solid and dependable. You are loyal, and people can count on you. At times, you can be a bit too serious. You tend to put too much pressure on yourself. You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people. You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts. You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals. You are deeply philosophical and thoughtful. You tend to analyze every aspect of your life. You are intuitive, brilliant, and quite introverted. You value your time alone. Often times, you are grumpy with other people. You don't appreciate them trying to interfere in your affairs.

So longgg. lol. Well have fun deciphering mentally your name:P

Season of Lurve lol

Can't wait for November.

2 WEDDINGS!

With yours trully as bridesmaid. Hahaha.
(Please don't ask when's her turn. She'll tune off in total 'politeness':P)

Unlike 27 dresses, my total dress will be 3 LOL. (for now.)

Katherine Heigl, you still win hands down:D

I know it's not my big day but all the same, I am super excited. Who wouldn't? Two of my close friends have found their ever after other half and professed true love and devotion. There will always be good and bad times, no doubt, but the most crucial part of marriage is they get to journey through life together.Awww. The sacredness in marriage, the unity, the promise.

Wow.

And my other half is somewhere missing.Kns, lost his map, kot. Kolien. I probably need to wait for him forever. Depending on my vocation though. I've been told we have three vocations in life and it will be revealed to us in time. (jeng jeng)

• Marriage
• Singlehood
• Religious

So I am clueless to which is mine...It's like a walk to remember all over again (gushes) Ok, I am so overreacting:P Please don't hang me up on the wall of shame, I implore mercy of you:P I'll admit,I'm a die hard romantic. The sleepless in Kuching kind.(grins)


So I'm toasting to these two wonderful ladies. You know who you are. (Winks). Let this love blossom throughout the years. I may be short of two single friends and I'll miss the times we spend together, but rest assured you both are affectionately in my heart forever. (That goes to my other close friends who will be married in the future too.)

Name your first born after me ya? (Perasan) Kidding:P

Silly how I dreamt of my own wedding but Mr So-called Mysterious refused to be seen, thus his countenance will remain a question mark. What a laugh:) So let's abandon my secret wish for awhile and celebrate this season of love.

• White weddings
• Church bells
• Choir
• Violin-playing
• Flower girls
• Wedding bouquet
• Diamond rings
  

and two hearts in union.
A kiss to seal it all.
Don't you just love weddings?

From every human being there rises a light that reaches straight to heaven.
And when two souls are destined to be together find each other, their streams
of light flow together, and a single brighter light goes forth from their united being.

In the meanwhile, I'll busy myself to find
i. the second bridesmaid dress, ( the first is in my closet now,lol)
ii. the speech
iii. p & c :D