Runaway, runaway like a prodigal...

I get goosebumps just listening to this....
Exactly what I felt eversince Thursday, seeping in slowly..
It's all right to handle things if our emotions are intact, so here I go walking
down the same path again.
This time I am not alone.
I have Him and that is all I shall ever need.

On a separate note, my colleague from KL gave birth to a healthy baby girl of 3.53kg by C-section.
She and her husband, who is also my colleague are overjoyed.Actually more that overjoyed. Delirious I say. I feel so happy for them. May God bless them abundantly.

All right, back to the song.............

We say good-bye
I turn my back
Run away, run away
So predictable
Not far from here
You see me crack
Like a bone, like a bone
I'm so breakable

And I take everything from you
But you'll take anything
Won't you?

Run away, run away
Like a prodigal
Don't you wait for me
Don't you wait for me
So ashamed, so ashamed
But I need you so
And you wait for me
And you wait for me

I'm on the road
To who knows where?
Look ahead, not behind
I keep saying
There's no place to go
Where you're not there
On your rope, I hold tight
But it's freeing

And I take everything from you
But you'll take anything
Won't you?

Run away, run away
Like a prodigal
Don't you wait for me
Don't you wait for me
So ashamed, so ashamed
But I need you so
And you wait for me
And you wait for me

Everybody wants to be right
But only if it's not day light?
I keep trying to find my way back
My way back

Run away, run away
Like a prodigal
Don't you wait for me
Don't you wait for me
So ashamed, so ashamed
But I need you so
And you wait for me
And you wait for me

Runaway
Runaway
Runaway
From you
From you
From you

-Prodigal- One Republic

Many times I feel like a prodigal. I did not heed His advice. I go against what He wants me to do.
And in the end I suffer the consequences. Yet, although how bad things seem to be, lessons are learnt and we too change for the better.
So much that we look at things in many different perspectives.
Open to arguments,
but slow to judgements.
The kind of respect we want is the kind of respect we give.
So when I run, it does not mean I am afraid.
There can be only be one reason...
That is to feel safe.

Moving forward with hope

Well, looks like this is it.
I'll be okay soon, just need to pull myself together.
In no time, I'm back on my feet again and I'm glad I've not succumbed to the
misery of the circumstances.

Life will be the same,
but at least I feel more at ease,
when all doubts is banished.
I must not look at the 'what ifs'
rather 'what now?'

So turn to God today,
even in the hardest of all tasks,
or daunting days,
in the end He's the one who'll hold your hand,
and embrace you into His arms.

Running

Today after work, I feel like running..............

And running to a place I feel safe….

From the rest of the world….

With my music,

I’m taking everything else,

To keep my head up high.

I know in my brokenness,

I can still see hope,

From a distance.

A ray of light,

A comfort for darker days,

A beacon to support my wavered heart.

So what if I missed the train?

In a rush, I think I won’t see things this clear.

I am not going to stop running,

Not at this point,

Even when I’ve got nothing.

What do I do?

I am trying to reach out to you,
but you keep pushing me away,
It's not that I don't try,
I just don't know how to.

I'm going to let this feeling end.
Right now, right then.
Breakaway if I can,
from the image of you I wanted you to be..

It's not fair,
if I have to explain,
When there is nothing to begin with,
You and your stand.

After so long,years swiftly pass us by,
when I am going to understand,
you shut it all out,
leaving me in the rain.

I don't mind the pain now,
If you don't know, I have nothing to fear,
I can still be a friend....
and that's all I am.
Making sense of it all,
it's time I....
Grow close, grow wise.

Talking, knowing, understanding but hurting in the end

I am awake but it still feels like dreaming.
I could not forget the conversations, as much as I tried too.
Monday was long way past but..........
words they stayed on like a nail hammered into the head.
Sometimes I prayed for no emotion.
Goodness, if only I was that heartless.

I do not know my true feelings at all
so I end up not saying it,
ignoring it....
I can't take it if the final word is rejection.
Because I still long for friendship,
when the truth is unveiled.

And what truth is that when I have to hide and put on a brave front, like I always do,
for 8 years......
I still hate goodbyes.
I won't say it,
so I'll be content with what I have today,
the only way God feels is best for me.

Blogging a remedy

There are emotional turbulences this week. And the week before. Barely slept but I am still breathing. Live through life answerable to God alone. He plans my pathways but it gets harder as I trod deeper. Maybe disasters are meant for the sole purpose of strengthening the weak being.

Decisions.
Heartaches.
The words will only get us choking.
What can we say when thrown into a mess of judgements.
The breakdown of emotions.
Hearts, they don't break even.

If we don't open our eyes,
We'll be putting up pretenses,
No, we're worth much more than that,
A tragedy it seems,
an immaculate dream.

I was jolted mid-way from my daydreams with this song in my head. Thus, I will try to record it and see if I can get a decent sound out of it. Simple lyrics but with alternative tunes.. here goes one I call my own.

I believe this is the chorus.

So we crash,
so we burn,
We're so human,
So we cry(so we cry) So we lie (so we lie),
No one listens.
Only You,
Only You,
are the remedy,
Oh come....Oh come.. Set us free...(2x)

Honesty and silence

Yeah, I know you're frustrated man.
Life's not working out like you planned and you're struggling just to hold on.
Call on The Lord.
Forget what you heard; He loves you.

God is good
Even here in Hollywood
Where demon legions run
Gunning for one soul to flood
With evil intent
Sending fever drips
Of freezing pitch
To fears mixed in our cerebral

Libidoal clicks
Right there
Safe in the middle
That's where we like to
Stay
Might pay the price with our life

But it's OK
As long as no one talks behind your back
Uh, huh
And then you find out what human relationship lacks
I know

I've been there before
Asking myself why
People I trusted turned on me
Made me cry
Sitting there silent, questioning what I'm gonna do
Like a live interview of who I'm gonna follow

Tomorrow
Only One can really give you what you need
Your maker
Knows every single hair on your head
The creator
Made every one of us

And here's the fun part
He loves all
Sons
Daughters
So much
With one heart
That he sent His only Son to suffer and die for us on a Cross
Nails tossed through his wrists
Stripped of all honor
Jesus Christ

I know the name causes discomfort
To this puppet generation
Stubborn
Huffing and puffing
Of all the crimes committed through time in His name

But that's us
Has nothing to do with the love that Christ gave
Just our lust
When you call His name
And ask him to come
Into your life
His Holy Spirit literally changes you to a new core right

We were born into this world of spite
Greed
And plythe
Original sin
Yet all things made new through Christ
All you've got to do is pray to Him

Lord Jesus
I can't do this myself
I need you to free me in this
Not sure what to do but I've got this bible
I'll pray for wisdom 'fore I read it
Hoping for revival
And they said you want relationship
so that's what I'll give ya'
All my problems and my joys
I pray to you with eve-ry-thing.

This is a nice 'rap' remix into Keyshia Cole's Heaven Sent. Worth listening.
Powerful simple lyrics.
Somehow right now all I seek is silence.