Feelings

Maturity begins to grow when you sense your concern for others outweigh your concerns for yourself.
John MacNoughton

Celebrating our ability to feel is a way to be fully free.

Who am I? I sometimes question. I get a little disoriented in life occasionally and in search for answers I stop by for some peace of mind here, in this prayer room. This is where I find so much comfort. Here I can be myself and express without restrains the feelings stored within.(Ok, I look too goofy here. Thanks to Emz the photographer.heh.Do not be deceived with my look though. There is always a deep wound hidden in a smile.)

( My hiding sanctuary for private conversions with God and Mother Mary)

I had a small talk with a friend today. I told her I was bombarded with some questions of faith from an atheist friend of mine. To my complete horror, he knew more of the bible than myself. All of a sudden, shame overwhelmed me. For someone who loves God so much, I could not even defend His honour, or fight till my last breath. I thought to myself, my purpose was not to win any arguments. To me, we were in the middle of a discussion. Yet, I was saddened with the fact that he no longer went to church and stop believing in God. There was a time when he helped out a lot in church and he even introduced to me the book "Left Behind". I felt he was drawn to God then, despite being an atheist. Somehow it all changed. In conclusion, he did not find for what he sought for. In a desperate attempt to convince him, I tried to reason. It all failed. In that way, I felt I had failed Him. I watched in despair, as he made his choice. He told me to read the bible instead, that I'd find truth there why he turned against God. How ironic, is it not? Here, I began acknowledging my powerlessness. I grabbed my bible that day and vowed to read bit by bit everyday. I felt sad that he never knew the love that God was capable of giving and how unconditional that love is.

I must make amends. I hope the realization did not come too late. I still hope he would trully believe some day. Life can be so lonely without anyone to turn to.

It is not the desert island nor the stony wilderness that cuts you from the people you love. It is the wilderness in the mind, the desert wastes in the heart through which one wanders lost and a stranger. When one is stranger to oneself then one is estranged from others too.
Anne Morrow Lindberg

Anyway, I saw that guy again. ( You know, the one in my previous post?) Yeah, and I know where exactly he work as and as what, lol. No no, don't get me wrong, I was not stalking him. It was just that I happened to bump into him there and then. At a closer look, his sharp features made him fierce. Yeah... really... 'siong'. (laughs)
I wish I can write more about him but I don't know him. He's like a complete stranger who captures the eye with just a glance. Lame isn't it, just because he stands out in the crowd.

Oh and I am absolutely in love with this furniture I saw at Green Gallery. Please please don't askme the price. I could just die in disappointment. I have a thing for furnitures. I am soooo into interior designing but am so pathetically broke to afford anything. :( A simple home can be transformed into a classy , assemble of art given the right set (a bit too dark, but do blame it on my L6 haha)

of furnitures, matching wallpapers, flooring etc.

God, please please rain on me some wealth, if not for me at least for my family. lol. There I go again wishing for something I don't deserve haha.

Tonight, I will look into the Old Testament, the book of Genesis, beginning with the creation of the universe and human beings.
Genesis means "origin". While this book tells stories about people, it is the first and foremost an account of what God has done. It begins with the affirmation that God created the universe and it ends with a promise that God will continue to show his concern for his people. Throughout the book, the main character is God, who judges and punishes those who do wrong, leads and helps his people, and shapes their history. This ancient book was written to record the story of a people's faith and help keep that faith alive.

Genesis is divided into two parts:

Chapter 1-11: The creation of the world and the early history of the human race. Here are the accounts of Adam and Eve, Cain and Abel, Noah and the flood,and the Tower of Babylon.

Chapter 12-50: The history of the early ancestors of the Israelites. The first is Abraham, who was noted for his faith and his obedience to God. Then follow the stories of his son Isaac, the grandson Jacob(also called Israel) and of Jacob's twelve sons, the founder of the twelve tribes of Israel. Special attention is given to one of the sons, Joseph, and the events that brought Jacob and his other sons with their families to live in Egypt.

Although my atheist friend asked me to read Deutronomy first, I decided to get back to basics, lol.

There's something romantic about driving in the rain during sunset. My L6 was not in its prime in capturing but at least this picture was better than nothing:)

(wah, so blurrr,lol)

The test of courage comes when we are in the minority
Ralph W. Sackman