Make up bla bla bla

Arghhhh...I sound like someone in a CLEO advertisement.haha.'Make ups are a must for the womenfolk.'

Oh, I beg to differ. I prefer au naturel. But these days I have been nagged, threatened (you name it)to be more..erm..let's just say,more elaborate on my appearance,haha. Can't I be Plain Jane, for goodness sake?
I know Kuching is thronged with many beautiful ladies.The power of make-up, my dear, chorused my friends in the background.
In turn, I do my 360 degrees sigh. You do the imagining. :D
I can't even put on a mascara correctly!(shame, shame)

Thus I leave the experts at Shiseido Parkson to do the trick. Ok, I admit, I love
the final touches and I really really really (shrek really) want to look like this everyday...
But I am so freaking lazy to dress up. I mean,let's rephrase, I am so pin tua to do step by step makeup leh, so hassling. Of course I was pinched by a girl friend who reprimanded me fiercely as well.

"So you want to be kiam chai la?"

Cis. lol.Oh well, it's so troublesome being a lady. Why can't such fate befall guys?UNFAIR.
So I got all my essentials and experimented around with the cosmetic kits etc. You can create all kinds of look as long as you are willing to learn. As for me, I go for tutorials, via Youtube,lol. I managed some blackish Gothic look. (after thousands of trial and error?) Ok, so there was this one time I looked like a scary Halloween monster.Serious. Don't laugh. It's true. Hope it's not so scary haha. Point is, I still have lots to learn, especially when it comes to makeup.

Dang, I still have not blogged on the continuation of Genesis. I am supposed to talk on Noah and the ark. Wait, it's Sabbath, isn't it? Rest dulu(grinning mischievously)... then blog on Monday. God says we must rest on Sunday. So I am obeying Him diligently. (So this is me trying a Gothic look. Hope it's emo enough,lol)

I better make sure I don't stray into other topics again in my next post other than Noah. So much for blog management,heh.

D.E.P.R.E.S.S.E.D

Don't talk to me,
Even I have feelings,
Part of me smiles when,
really all I want to do is
escape from reality,
Sickeningly serenading
Sleep don't come easy,
Episodes of
damnation.
Help!

Sleepless in Kuching

I am def insomniac. I don't take care of myself. I love the internet too much to even bother sleeping a proper 8 hours a day. The funny thing is, I don't know what I do, until so much time is spent online. My mum says I am married to the computer. I am anticipating more comments in the coming days. Maybe this time from my dad.
And today I don't really know what I want to blog about. Yet here I am, attempting to create something out of nothing.
Ok, so I admit. A lot of works, especially novels are left hanging in the cold. I have yet to finish Genesis even. My span of concentration is low and I get carried away with new things easily. For example, new ideas. I simply chuck the old one and get back to it another time. I must curb this unhealthy habit for my own sake. I need discipline.

Touchpoints and idiot-guides to survival in the world.

The time still ticks. I'm still here, waiting for the right time to retire to slumber. My eyes are still wide open but my head spins like a hurricane :P Can you imagine the silent turbulence then?
I wonder how many people in Kuching are still sleepless in Kuching after 1.30am. Shall we do a poll then? I'll get on it right after this then, if I know how to, that is.

I just finished updating my facebook a couple of minutes ago. Yep, yours trully is a Facebook freak. Mention MSN and I'm a goner lol.

My brain tells me... it's time for drastic changes. Wake up! Makes me ponder, what if the government too experience drastic changes? Would it be for better or worse, only God knows.

For me, I need to live up to expectations. Grow close. Grow wise. I hope I can.

My romantic self writing to no one at all.

Close your eyes,
dream of me,
if you want to, only.
I am not asking you to miss me.
I am not asking for anything at all.
I just want to know if you are real,
and if you are here for me.
I don't know who you are,
I don't even know myself,
so I'll let you go,
and I'll walk away first,
before I can ever turn back,
before I can even change my mind.


Passing by as strangers,
are we playing medleys?
hoping to find one another,
in the midst of the crowd?
what if we weren't suppose to be?
and what if we just leave it at that?
Can I ever ever know you at all?
what a shame.
I can almost feel you,
beating, resoundingly.
But a vision of you, unclear.
and memories, they don't know you too.


I stand in the rain,
and I walk in it,alone.
Maybe one day you will feel my pain,
of not knowing what to do,
when it comes to you.

What you keep to yourself, you lose, what you give away, you keep forever. Axel Munthe

Back to The Origins lol

Actually, I was a little tired to blog on bible studies yesterday even when I had my internet connection restored to perfection,haha. Thus, here I am again to summarize what I read before bed yesterday.

This part involves the lives of Adam and Eve after the Garden of Eden. Eve gave birth to two sons, Abel and Cain. Abel was a shepherd while Cain was a farmer. All was well for the family, until God rejected Cain's sacrifice offerings of some of his harvest and accepted Abel's, the best parts of the first lamb born of one of his sheeps. God only wanted to show Cain that he had sinned and not the fact that He preferred Abel's offerings.

Yet out of jealousy, Cain murdered his own sibling in the field, provoking God's anger.God sentenced him to a barren existence. Nothing could grow out of his own hand. He can no longer plough his field nor any land. Cain pleaded for mercy since he would be a homeless wanderer, fearing he would eventually be killed.

God however told Cain that if anyone kills him, seven lives will be taken in revenge. Having said that, God put a mark on Cain to ward any attempted murder on him. Cain left and lived in a land called 'Wandering' which was in the east of Eden. There he married and had a son called Enoch, whom Cain's city was named after.

Eve, after the death of Abel, gave birth to Seth. Adam and Eve lived a great deal of years and had many descendants. People in those days could lived up to 900 years. Amazing. Upcoming post will be touching on Noah and the great flood.

Drat! I put on weight these few months. I will not disclose the actual figure, lol but it has devastated me. Goodbye glorious food! Time for some strict regime to keep fit. I want to look gorgeous. Wait, wait. I want to stay healthy too!Oh if only I can be persistent enough to go all the way for a new 'me'. I need motivation.Lots and lots of that, haha.

It has also been a week since I last saw Mr Mysterious. What was I thinking lol. Maybe he's just a sight for sore eyes. All right Miss Prim and Proper, behave yourself! ( I am, I am. HONEST) lol.

It is raining still..maybe it is not one of those showers that is here one minute and gone the next, as I had so boldly assumed. Maybe none of them are. After all, life itself is a chain of rainy days. But there are times when not all of us have umbrellas to walk under. Those are the times when we need people who are willing to lend their umbrellas to a wet stranger on a rainy day. I think I'll go for a walk with my umbrella.
Sun-Young Park

At last! Phew.

Modem entirely fixed. Wireless connection, configured. So there is no excuse for me not to blog, except plain laziness.Hehe.

Happy MoonCake Festival! The Chinese celebrates the Mid Autumn Festival, known locally as Mooncake Festival, on the 15th day of the eighth lunar month which falls today. Children in my neighbourhood are playing brightly -lit lanterns joyously as I type along. Tried any mooncakes? Bet everyone did. Macam macam ada. lol. Even yoghurt flavoured.

To explain my disappearance two nights previously, it was due to a blackout on Thursday afternoon, followed by lightning. And that blasted lightning got to my modem. Rentungla the component inside. I declared my modem r.i.p before sending it to the nearest Telekom branch, which was Batu Lintang on the next day. Thank goodness for the one year warranty or else have to fork out the moo-lah. On the same night too, while teaching the students in MJC, another power supply failure ensued sans the lightning. Needless to say, the whole MJC was in total darkness. Nicee. If it was another occurence of chain blackout in the whole state, be sure to hear numerous rounds of complain from the public. Not that I'm putting too much blame on SESCO or anything, sometimes these things are unavoidable, but without electricity, you might as well put my life or many lives on hold.

The consequence of no electricity for me, that is;
1. no internet ( I am a Facebook freak and MSN enthusiast)
Please listen to Hitz.fm for Rudy and JJ's rendition of "Hey hey you you, why aren't you on facebook?"

2. blur visibility at home (need light to mandi and other stuff too ma)

3. cool air from the fan or aircond (to keep the temperature ma, or else sweat like a oink oink)

The state of darkness only lasted for 30 minutes! Nasib, nasib. On Friday I was still internet-less. But thank goodness for the electricity.

So a friend of mine ar, very ho sim la, she introduced to me someone who could reconfigure my internet connection to keep me up on my toes especially in the online world.
After much cham-siong and all, he came on Saturday morning to work some magic that I failed to do myself, even after abusing my computer for answer. (Don't worry, no kicking involved)After less than an hour, he got it running just like that. Should I call it easy money for him? wahahhaa. Anyway, I changed my PCI Adapter to D-Link. I could then enjoy the full benefits of the internet. Chewah,haha. Service charge was RM50 and my PCI adapter was Rm40. I don't know if it's reasonable but he claims it is. Whatever it is I got my internet back and I am delirious. If I am somewhat overcharged, I'd pay him a visit for refunds!(just kidding)

All that settled, let's move on.I know I am a bit too old to listen to Jesse McCartney, he's like so freaking young compared to me, but I must say I absolutely love this song of his, "Just So You Know" taken from Princess Diaries II.

http://www.mp3lyrics.org/ZE I shouldn't love you, but I want to I just can't turn away I shouldn't see you, but I can't move I can't look away And I dont know How to be fine when I'm not 'Cause I don't know How to make a feeling stop Just so you know This feeling's takin' control Of me and I can't help it I won't sit around I can't let him win now Thought you should know I've tried my best to let go Of you but I don't want to I just gotta say it all before I go Just so you know It's gettin' hard to Be around you Theres so much I can't say Do you want me to hide the feelings And look the other away And I don't know How to be fine when I'm not 'Cause I don't know How to make a feeling stop Just so you know This feeling's takin' control Of me and I can't help it I wont sit around I can't let him win now Thought you should know I've tried my best to let go Of you but I don't want to I just gotta say it all before I go Just so you know This emptiness is killin' me And I'm wonderin' why I've waited so long Lookin' back I realize it was always there, just never spoken I'm waitin' here Been waitin' here Oooh Just so you know This feeling's takin' control Of me and I can't help it I wont sit around I can't let him win now Thought you should know I've tried my best to let go Of you but I don't want to I just gotta say it all before I go Just so you know Whoa Just so you know Whoa Thought you should know I've tried my best to let go Of you but I don't want to I just gotta say it all before I go Just so you know Just so you know

Well in a way it makes me feel sad and yet it doesn't really involve me you know. Like I'm consumed with helplessness, I can't figure a solution out.Maybe I just want someone to know how I feel. I hope I can. Instead of being so cold and restrained, try opening the heart, just a little. And I just want that someone to know that, it's not worth being cruel when you can always be kind.

A chemist who can extract from his heart's element, compassion, respect, longing,
patience, regret, surprise and forgiveness and compound them into one can create that atom which is called love.
Kahlil Gibran

Even when someone has a doctorate it won't mean anything at all if he has no heart.