Time and tide waits for no man

God is directing your steps and delighting in every detail of your life. (Psalms 37:23-24) Doesn't matter who you are. Potbellied or prized purebred? God sees no difference.

Life is at times, fast paced, and other times, slow. I am feeling the need to escape into a holiday getaway, for a relaxing time and space. The suffocation of the world gets to me quite often. I know God is there along the way but there is this urge in me to just follow my heart, even if God do not quite agree.

I feel blessed to be loved so much that He died for us on the Cross. I do not want to forget that, ever. So in my times of doubt and insecurities, I chased the questions away because they are not relevant or anywhere significant compared to His mercy.

And today, I will try to make the best of the hours and minutes. It shall never come to pass again.

After the wedding?so called lol....

LOL, I need to laugh first before I post this up. I can almost see the rolling of the reader's eyes already.:D Bear with me, I beg you, hahaha.

My subconscious mind is speaking to me. In dreams, once again. I guess all that romance is getting to my head. Please do not mistake it as a call of desperation. It is merely a thought provoked by the endearing emotions of a lifetime commitment. One called marriage.

I opened my eyes to the bright sunrays from the windowpane. I had no idea of the time but my ears made out a vague sound, indicating another presence in the room. I turned around only to find him, diligently at work on his laptop. My mind panicked.

"Good morning," he greeted me.

I automatically held my left hand out and saw the ring on my fourth finger. I sought his. Identical. I gulped. My mind reeled back. This must be Sunday morning. After the wedding.

"Good morning," I greeted back not meaning to be rude. He looked so composed and relaxed it was hard not to be at ease. I walked towards the window and it dawned upon me our location at the sight of Sarawak River. Holiday Inn Suite. Everything came back into place. He interrupted my thoughts by mentioning breakfast at the pantry. I didn't know what else to do but to go to the pantry, blur. Picking up breakfast, I couldn't really recall what it was, I think it was an egg sandwich or ham, whichever, he asked if I was excited to go to Rome.

Apparently our honeymoon was to be there. I slowly went towards him and embraced him, speechless. I woke up then, remembering his gentle smile.

I sat in bed for the whole 15 minutes, kicking myself in the mind. Dreams. Always playing tricks on me!Cruel, cruel.

If he is real, I think I would be the happiest girl on earth.

Oh well.....
back to reality, opps there goes gravity. lol.

Isn't it strange though, I dreamt the continuation of a dream two days ago? Hmmmm.... too much imagination does not serve me well.

At least he was much much approachable and charming this time around.

That is it. Enough!.. whatever happened to my bible studies? (Stares at the screen in despair)
Yikes! I am sidetracked for toooooo long. God forgive me! (smiles sheepishly)

Forgiveness

Make a list of God's mistakes. Pretty short eh? Now make a list of the times He has forgiven you for yours. Who on earth has such a record?The One who called you is completely dependable. If he said it, he'll do it!"
(I Thessalonians 5:24 THE MESSAGE)

Forgiveness is a power, to me, that is.

It's like a gift that you don't normally get, but once given, it means the world to you. I don't know of the people who have not forgiven me or already have done so. All I know is, we make mistakes. We disappoint. But God, bless Him, thinks we are worthy of forgiveness. Isn't it about time we think it over about forgiving one another? It may be slow and hard, but eventually it'll come to place.

Only we can make it happen. Let's start today.

Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren't
-Margaret Thatcher

Margaret Thatcher is Britain's former leading lady who turned 83 this year. She is a figure of social and political renaissance.

Introducing Sofia Coppola

Talking about inspiration, I want to follow the footsteps of Sofia Coppola.

She is a charming woman. A world famous female director, she is also a sophisticated traveller. I may not be contending to be a director but I certainly enjoy travelling whole heartedly.

Her world is everything I ever fantasize about. She has a graceful silence that speaks so much. She upholds self discovery as a stepping stone to the success of women. What struck me about her was this photograph of her and her beloved father in the latest core values ad campaign by Annie Leibowitz. It captures the love and admiration father and daughter have for one another. Like a spell cast and retold over and over.

If she can be a great person as Sofia, as herself,what more have we to say of ourselves?

Being Sofia.

Being Taffy.

We must not be disheartened to be trully ourselves.

Nightmare?Or almost sweet?

This weekend I am absorbed with romantic movies and have been neglecting my sleep, lol. I slept at 4 am last Friday and Saturday, being glued to YouTube with eyes of a lovesick puppy.

Okay, maybe I overexaggerated but I am a sucker for romance!Nothing feels as good as a happy ending that leaves you with a certain feel of magic and fulfillment.

So, since it is a Sunday night now as I write, I don't think I have the priviledge to sleep that late any longer:D

Perhaps my recent activity has prompted a quite unexpected dream this afternoon, one where I was to wed the following Saturday in St Joseph Cathedral to the eldest son of my father's friend. Yes I know, I know, how was I to know it was a dream? My reaction was of utter bewilderment, after all the abruptness of the marriage was a bit too much for the brain to take in. Those who were well acquainted with me would be horrified that I marry someone I hardly know, let alone love.

Arranged marriage are always so... so... well unpredictable. It either end up well if love is cultivated slowly while in other cases, divorce so bitter you'd sworn off marriage.

Needless to say, the day fast forwarded to Saturday in that dream. In a massive turn of the event, I saw myself dressed as a bride being escorted by my father down the aisle meeting the familiar faces of relatives and friends, most emotions unreadable Their surprise perhaps mirrored mine. I remembered crying on the shoulders of one of my close friends the night before the wedding as she consoled me that things would turn up fine in the end. Or the 'you-go-girl' face of another close friend singing for my wedding in the choir.

And yes, I saw the countenance of my husband to be, and if it was any consolation at all he was courteous to my family and friends. Indifferent he was to me but otherwise polite. Yet, we women have our instinct. I could feel his tension despite his calm exterior. I wanted to call off the wedding there and then seeing him, as I felt it not fair for him and me to begin in such a questionable fashion. As I reached his side, with him taking my arm, I woke up then.
Phew. I didn't even get to see the celebrant of 'my wedding' lol.

Anyway, it left me a bit dazed. Was it an inner desire for me to get married that materialize the dream?Perhaps yes, or no. I don't know. I shrugged off the thought quickly. Silly, really.

I think God grew sick of me telling Him over and over again. I am not the type to marry someone who doesn't love me, or vice versa.

Suddenly I felt so alone. At least in that dream, I still have a husband.lol. However, pulling myself together I chided myself.

God guards those who turn to Him. The pounding you feel does not suggest his distance, but proves his nearness. Trust His sovereignty.