Alone Time

I welcome solidarity. It is not an enemy.

Instead, I choose to indulge in it, the peace and quiet it offers. Edginess has no place here.

I am my own master, this moment. I have to admit. I am a dissatisfied person. I tend to compare myself with those around me, particularly the rich. I wanted, dreamt of their cosy, luxurious life. I desired money for power and pleasure.

I told God, I could contribute more if I were suddenly bestowed wealth. I really meant it. Come to think of it, perhaps God is not granting such a request, due to my finance management. I need not explain further. Thus I am who I am today. Unless I prove myself worthy, I must never be ungrateful with the comfortable life I have now.

I have shared dreams with my Creator. I told him of my longing for a 4WD, lol. I feel somehow mighty driving my father's Pajero. The ability to handle the big and sturdy vehicle. Yet I honestly do not think I can keep up with the maintenance expenses, not with my current salary. I try not to voice out my intention to drive my father's pride and joy. I am sort of prohibited. It was like a forbidden fruit to me. Thus, I better keep my distance. Give it another 15 years or so, for my cup of tea.

Then, I also need to consider a roof over my head. A simple house would do. With a nice compound, easy to look after. I rather have one nearer to the city in a safe neighbourhood. I contemplate on an apartment but resell value seems not to my favour. In any case, I am opting for a single storey terraced unit, inclusive of a ferocious man's best friend to keep me company. Renovations will be reviewed only when there is excess budget.

All of these are possible only if I have the financial means. To achieve it, I need to work extremely hard over the years. In that process, I also strive to prioritize God. For He is my counsellor. My planner.

In Him, even the impossible is possible.