My top priority

My top priority
He who will never leave and never dies.
We don't have to work to impress God.
He knows who we are and accepts us with unconditional love.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Nightmare?Or almost sweet?

This weekend I am absorbed with romantic movies and have been neglecting my sleep, lol. I slept at 4 am last Friday and Saturday, being glued to YouTube with eyes of a lovesick puppy.

Okay, maybe I overexaggerated but I am a sucker for romance!Nothing feels as good as a happy ending that leaves you with a certain feel of magic and fulfillment.

So, since it is a Sunday night now as I write, I don't think I have the priviledge to sleep that late any longer:D

Perhaps my recent activity has prompted a quite unexpected dream this afternoon, one where I was to wed the following Saturday in St Joseph Cathedral to the eldest son of my father's friend. Yes I know, I know, how was I to know it was a dream? My reaction was of utter bewilderment, after all the abruptness of the marriage was a bit too much for the brain to take in. Those who were well acquainted with me would be horrified that I marry someone I hardly know, let alone love.

Arranged marriage are always so... so... well unpredictable. It either end up well if love is cultivated slowly while in other ca
ses, divorce so bitter you'd sworn off marriage.

Needless to say, the day fast forwarded to Saturday in that dream. In a massive turn of the event, I saw myself dressed as a bride being escorted by my father down the aisle meeting the familiar faces of relatives and friends, most emotions unreadable Their surprise perhaps mirrored mine. I remembered crying on the shoulders of one of my close friends the night before the wedding as she consoled me that things would turn up fine in the end.
Or the 'you-go-girl' face of another close friend singing for my wedding in the choir.

And yes, I saw the countenance of my husband to be, and if it was any consolation at all he was courteous to my family and friends. Indifferent he was to me but otherwise polite. Yet, we women have our instinct. I could feel his tension despite his calm exterior. I wanted to call off the wedding there and then seeing him, as I felt it not fair for him and me to begin in such a questionable fashion. As I reached his side, with him taking my arm, I woke up then.
Phew. I didn't even get to see the celebrant of 'my wedding' lol.

Anyway, it left me a bit dazed. Was it an inner desire for me to get married that materialize the dream?Perhaps yes, or no. I don't know. I shrugged off the thought quickly. Silly, really.

I think God grew sick of me telling Him over and over again. I am not the type to marry someone who doesn't love me, or vice versa.

Suddenly I felt so alone. At least in that dream, I still have a husband.lol. However, pulling myself together I chided myself.

God guards those who turn to Him. The pounding you feel does not suggest his distance, but proves his nearness. Trust His sovereignty.





3 comments:

Anonymous said...

your dream was......fuhyooo....!! speechless.....what a 'revelation' huh? what if it came true? :P

♫ ε m z 小愛™ said...

AIYOX.

U REALLY WANNA GET MARRIED LIAO LOO.

Taffy A.E. Jong said...

hahaha. sabar jak.To be married or not, it is all entirely up to God lol.