Please be a better person.

Tension is common. Storms come one week after another. They say blood runs thicker than water. Are we sure? Can we stand up for this statement?

I look at my journal in shame. Should revelation be necessary?
A question of honour?
Pride?

Pouring down details would bring more trouble. I shut the journal instead. I decide to bury it at the back of my mind. But no, it will not be easy to forget. I will not think of changing the world, if I cannot make a difference around the people whom I love or mingle around with.

Naive.
Selfish.
Temperamental.
Unreasonable.

Guess before we point fingers, we ought to take a good look at ourselves.
Why are we given such tests, O Lord? Is it not enough the pains of the past?
Can You not help me in this quest of turning a totally rebelious being into the total opposite of darkness? Or at least more understanding in conscience.

It has been 27 years but there is no turning over a new leaf. If it is too late, I think all efforts are deemed in vain.

My hopes now revolve around changes. Major ones for the greater good. The hurricane spreads quickly than we think it would. Sometimes fire and fire just worsens situations. Perhaps it is better to just leave the storm alone. The only solution is to stop the rage.

Carrie No. 3 in the making. Unpublished to protect identity. If people knew, oh how will they mock us! In times like this, I will walk with Jesus by his side as he struggles up the hill with the heaviest cross of the world. The road of Dolorosa. I have a Judas within my walls. I pray it not me. I do not have control over life. Helpless, I resign to His will.

Let recognition come in dreams.
Awareness.
Fears.

Let it stick to her conscience like a guilt glue. This I pray.