I pray

I pray,
that I will forget you soon,
You are just another passerby,
in this walk of life; mine,
just a couple of hours,
not less, not more,
and eventually you will be a shadow,
that slowly fades away.

To you,
I am just a number,
Just a paper,
Just a fulfillment of duty,
and to think that once,
once, I thought of you,
this stupidity, this blindness,
Oh my heart,
why this sudden madness,
cure me quickly I beg you,
cast me far from this
impulsion I call feeling.
This I pray,
This I ask of you,
if you know the meaning of mercy.

Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.
-ANAIS NIN

In real love, you want the other person's good. In romantic love,
you want the other person.
-MARGARET ANDERSON

Crush

I woke up early this morning and took a listen to one of the songs that I really liked, entitled "Crush" by David Archuleta. Very delightful. I momentarily forgot the world.At least for a while. These days I feel like moving away from the crowd, walking along sandy shores and praying that someday I will find what I am looking for. I thought I did,but I was so wrong, so very wrong..



I hung up the phone tonight
Something happened for the first time deep inside
It was a rush, what a rush

'Cause the possibility
That you would ever feel the same way about me
It's just too much, just too much

Why do I keep running from the truth?
All I ever think about is you
You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized
And I've just got to know

Do you ever think when you're all alone
All that we can be, where this thing can go?
Am I crazy or falling in love?
Is it real or just another crush?

Do you catch a breath when I look at you?
Are you holding back like the way I do?
'Cause I'm trying and trying to walk away
But I know this crush ain't goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy

Has it ever crossed your mind
When we're hanging, spending time girl, are we just friends?
Is there more, is there more?

See it's a chance we've gotta take
'Cause I believe that we can make this into something that will last
Last forever, forever

Do you ever think when you're all alone
All that we can be, where this thing can go?
Am I crazy or falling in love?
Is it real or just another crush?

Do you catch a breath when I look at you?
Are you holding back like the way I do?
'Cause I'm trying and trying to walk away
But I know this crush ain't goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy

Why do I keep running from the truth?
All I ever think about is you
You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized
And I've just got to know

Do you ever think when you're all alone
All that we can be, where this thing can go?
Am I crazy or falling in love?
Is it real or just another crush?

Do you catch a breath when I look at you?
Are you holding back like the way I do?
'Cause I'm trying and trying to walk away
But I know this crush ain't goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
This crush ain't goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy
Goin' away-ay-ay-ay-ayy

Farewell

The events of this week is a whirlwind of catastrophe. I find myself unable to blog due to personal reasons.

1. It involves unfictional events and real people.

2. I fear of exposing my true emotions.

It has come to a deeper sense of realization how imperfect one can be; yet still be worthy of God's endless mercy. I believe Him to be the only person who loves me unconditionally. Only He expresses love so freely. Sadly, there are times I turn my back when I do not feel His presence. He is also the reason for this post.

If I can, I wish to compose music to relate better to these thoughts and aspirations hidden within me. If I can, I wish to fly away from this place,never to return again.

Things aren't that simple. Despite all that I potray, I am a broken, bruised soul longing for redemption.

We do not often say what we want to say. We only hope others are compassionate enough to discover what we actually mean.

The tendency to be withdrawn is ever so appealing. Loneliness can sometimes be the only friend we can trust in bleak times. I should learn to be content with it. But before that. sorting out residues of the passing moments, I wish to thank my friends who were there during my predicament. There is nothing I can offer but prayers and blessings.

For now, I bade you farewell until I am fully recovered, spiritually, emotionally and physically.

Please forgive me, for I am not strong enough for the world....

To be loved and love is one I cannot have yet, for that I mourn
-T.J

Us against the world

Us Against The World

Verse 1
You and I, we've been at it so long

I still got the strongest fire

You and I, we still know how to talk

know how to walk that wire


Sometimes I feel like the world is against me

The sound of your voice baby that's what saves me

When we're together I feel so invincible


Chorus

'Cause it's us against the world

You and me against them all

If you're listening to these words

Know that we are standing tall

I don't ever see the day that I won't catch you when you fall

'Cause it's us against the world tonight


Verse 2

There'll be days we'll be on different sides

But that doesn't last too long

We find ways to get it on track

We know how to turn back on


Sometimes I feel I can't keep it together

then you hold me close and you make it better

When I'm with you I can feel so unbreakable


Chorus


Bridge

We're not gonna break 'cause we both still believe

We know what we've got and we've got what we need alright

We're doing something right


I absolutely love this song by Westlife. There are times when life turns its back against us. This is where we need so much strength to go on. There are those times when we feel so alone. But fear not, when all hope is gone, there is always something there we can cling on to to feel whole again. We can always turn to Him. For in faith, we have the one thing that won't leave us. A love so great it will last for an eternity. The constant reminder that we are loved.

To be loved, we must first be lovable.
To be accepted, we must first learn to accept.

Being unwanted,unloved,uncared for, forgotten by everybody, I think that is a much greater hunger, a much greater poverty than the person who has nothing to eat... We must find each other.
- MOTHER TERESA

Noah

( Pictures of dawn that I personally liked from the webbie,lol)



It's a fine morning today with the bright sunlight upon my head as I open the gates. With the bible in my hand,let's move onwards, starting on Human Wickedness before the story of Noah.

When the world's population had grown and daughters were being born, the men folk became more choosy. They chose only the beautiful ones. Then the Lord said," I will not allow people to live forever;they are mortal. From now on they will live no longer than 120 years."

He saw that everyone on earth was wicked and how evil their thoughts were that He began to feel sorry that He ever created them. Filled with regret, He announced that He would wipe out all the people He had created, including the animals and the birds. However, there was one exception. Noah. He was pleased with Noah and decided to spare him.

He told Noah of His plans and instructed Noah to build a boat out of good timber; make rooms in it and cover it with tar inside out. The boat should be 450 feet long, 75 feet wide and 45 feet high. There would be a roof for the boat and a space of 18 inches between the roof and the sides. Three decks is ample enough for the whole boat and put a door in the side. Noah was told to take his wife, sons and their wives, together with a male and female of every kind of animal and bird, in order to keep them alive. He also need to take along all kinds of food for everyone in the ark.Noah did everything God commanded.

A model of Noah's Ark at the Creation Museum,U.S.


Noah was 600 years old when the flood occurred. He was further told to take seven pairs of each kind of ritually clean animals, but only one pair of each kind of unclean animal and seven pairs of each kind of bird. The sign of the GREAT flood was rain that fell for forty days and nights. The water did not start to go down for a hundred and fifty days.

I fear if I would have lived then, can I believe I am not one of the chosen one spared to live? It was gruesome to think of the dark days before.Noah must have been very righteous to deserve God's mercy.
Even now the world seem to be in a mess, one way or another.If it isn't politics, it may be economic or warfares, plus other issues I have yet to mention.

I wonder what God has in store for us as the days passed by. We are all but pilgrims on earth. So temporary.
More on Noah in my next post. Need to head to work now.Laters!

The story of love is not important-what is important is that one is capable of love. It is perhaps the only glimpse we are permitted of eternity.
-HELEN HAYES

Make up bla bla bla

Arghhhh...I sound like someone in a CLEO advertisement.haha.'Make ups are a must for the womenfolk.'

Oh, I beg to differ. I prefer au naturel. But these days I have been nagged, threatened (you name it)to be more..erm..let's just say,more elaborate on my appearance,haha. Can't I be Plain Jane, for goodness sake?
I know Kuching is thronged with many beautiful ladies.The power of make-up, my dear, chorused my friends in the background.
In turn, I do my 360 degrees sigh. You do the imagining. :D
I can't even put on a mascara correctly!(shame, shame)

Thus I leave the experts at Shiseido Parkson to do the trick. Ok, I admit, I love
the final touches and I really really really (shrek really) want to look like this everyday...
But I am so freaking lazy to dress up. I mean,let's rephrase, I am so pin tua to do step by step makeup leh, so hassling. Of course I was pinched by a girl friend who reprimanded me fiercely as well.

"So you want to be kiam chai la?"

Cis. lol.Oh well, it's so troublesome being a lady. Why can't such fate befall guys?UNFAIR.
So I got all my essentials and experimented around with the cosmetic kits etc. You can create all kinds of look as long as you are willing to learn. As for me, I go for tutorials, via Youtube,lol. I managed some blackish Gothic look. (after thousands of trial and error?) Ok, so there was this one time I looked like a scary Halloween monster.Serious. Don't laugh. It's true. Hope it's not so scary haha. Point is, I still have lots to learn, especially when it comes to makeup.

Dang, I still have not blogged on the continuation of Genesis. I am supposed to talk on Noah and the ark. Wait, it's Sabbath, isn't it? Rest dulu(grinning mischievously)... then blog on Monday. God says we must rest on Sunday. So I am obeying Him diligently. (So this is me trying a Gothic look. Hope it's emo enough,lol)

I better make sure I don't stray into other topics again in my next post other than Noah. So much for blog management,heh.

D.E.P.R.E.S.S.E.D

Don't talk to me,
Even I have feelings,
Part of me smiles when,
really all I want to do is
escape from reality,
Sickeningly serenading
Sleep don't come easy,
Episodes of
damnation.
Help!